Resilience in Medicine and What It Really Means | Dr. Shikha Jain

Jun 25

Written By Guest User

There are certain words in medicine that we become incredibly comfortable using, often without even realizing it.

We admire them.

We encourage them.

We expect them.

Resilience is one of those words.

As physicians, we talk about resilience constantly. We praise it in our patients, expect it from our colleagues, and often demand it from ourselves. Somewhere along the way, resilience becomes something we assume people simply need more of.

But the more years I spend practicing medicine, the more I realize that resilience may not always mean what we think it means.

As an orthopedic surgeon, I spend my days helping patients recover from injuries, rebuild strength, and adapt after unexpected changes in their lives. Those conversations often begin with something physical: pain, function, mobility, recovery. But they almost always become about something much larger.

They're about people trying to navigate difficult circumstances while continuing to show up for the rest of their lives.

That became increasingly clear during my conversation with Dr. Shikha Jain, a triple board-certified hematologist and oncologist, physician advocate, and founder of Women in Medicine. While our discussion covered everything from cancer care and physician advocacy to leadership and women's health, what stayed with me most wasn't simply the conversation around cancer.

It was the conversation around resilience.

Redefining What Resilience Actually Means

For many of us, especially in medicine, resilience quietly becomes synonymous with doing more. We become accustomed to long hours, endless responsibilities, and putting other people first. We learn how to function despite exhaustion and convince ourselves that if we can continue carrying everything, then we must be handling it well.

But Dr. Jain shared something that I think many people need to hear. She spoke about moments when resilience had become an excuse to continuously give more of herself than she actually had available to give. She described feeling like she had been pouring from an empty cup, and I immediately understood what she meant.

I think many women understand that feeling.

As physicians, mothers, caregivers, and professionals, many of us become experts at carrying responsibilities without stopping to question whether we're carrying too much. We adapt so well that eventually overextension starts to feel normal. Somewhere along the way, strength begins to feel synonymous with sacrifice.

But strength and self-sacrifice are not always the same thing.

What Patients Teach Us About Life

One of the things that struck me most throughout our conversation was hearing how much Dr. Jain has learned from her patients. As an oncologist, she walks alongside people during some of the most difficult and uncertain moments of their lives. Cancer diagnoses force people into situations they never imagined facing, and yet life does not stop simply because something devastating happens.

People are still caring for children. They are still trying to keep jobs and maintain insurance coverage. They are still showing up for aging parents, spouses, and families while simultaneously navigating their own treatment and fear.

Listening to these stories reminded me that resilience often looks much quieter than we expect. It isn't always dramatic courage or constant positivity. Sometimes resilience is simply recalibrating. It's waking up every day and figuring out how to fit something overwhelming into a life that continues moving around you.

The Hidden Weight of Guilt

Another part of our conversation that stayed with me involved the guilt many patients carry. Dr. Jain described hearing patients blame themselves for their diagnoses. They wonder whether they should have exercised more, eaten differently, or somehow made better choices.

As physicians, we know lifestyle factors matter. Exercise matters. Nutrition matters. Sleep matters. But health is rarely as simple as people want it to be.

I think women in particular often become incredibly good at assuming responsibility for things beyond their control. We internalize challenges and immediately ask ourselves what we should have done differently. But self-blame rarely creates healing.

Self-awareness matters.

Self-compassion matters too.

Understanding What Support Really Looks Like

Something else I found myself thinking about after our conversation was the way we support people during difficult moments. So often our instinct is to fill uncomfortable spaces with reassuring words. We say things like, "Everything will be okay," or "Stay positive," because we want to make people feel better.

But support does not always mean finding the perfect thing to say.

Sometimes support simply means being willing to sit beside someone without trying to fix the situation. It means listening without minimizing fears and allowing someone space to feel exactly what they are feeling.

Final Thoughts

What stayed with me most after speaking with Dr. Jain is that resilience may actually have less to do with endurance than we think.

Perhaps resilience is not about endlessly carrying more weight. Perhaps it is knowing what matters enough to keep carrying and recognizing what you finally have permission to put down.

Because strength is important.

But so is knowing your limits.